So I’m a procrastinator, this isn’t a surprise for anyone who knows me even remotely well. I’m even highlighting my procrastinating tendencies by putting off a post that’s supposed to center on my goals; the one’s I’ve had for myself, the ones I’ve accomplished, the ones I haven’t accomplished and the whys of all that.
Honestly some of the whys are going to be really straightforward, I couldn’t afford it, which is a good reason to opt of things if it means potentially hurting yourself in the future to have some fun now. But there are lots of others that I don’t have an excuse for and I suspect it all comes down to procrastination.
Everyone has things they could do in their spare time that would be productive. It would be nice if everyone filled their off hours with things that were measurably useful, but that’s not really realistic or smart because sometimes you need downtime that allows your mind to blank out and just let yourself be. Arguably it would be better to do these things on idyllic hilltops or overlooking tree-lined parks, but sometimes that’s not a option and frankly television and movies are fun.
My problem comes down to a simple fact, it’s all well a good to have down-time, but I’m very bad at managing my time so I’m actually productive. I’m very good at saying when I get home from work “I’ll take a break and then get started on x or y”. And then I sit down and watch a movie or read or worst yet, open my computer or play video games. I push my original hour of down time back to two, then three and eventually I hit that magic moment when I look at the clock and think “10 pm! No one cleans house, writes blog posts/stories (this is a bald-faced lie and ridiculous to boot), starts crocheting, etc at this time of night” and I’ll just say I’ll do it tomorrow.
I don’t know if I’m lazy, apathetic, scared to try, or some weird combination of things (I lean towards combination because I’m not scared to clean at 10pm, I was just looking for an excuse to not do it).
I suppose I should resolve to just do it the minute I get home, but even when I do I have magical powers of personal manipulation to talk myself into or out of things. I’m especially good at this when I’m supposed to be cooking for myself. I have so many excuses about cooking that it’s obscene. (Some for the record, ARE totally legit but still)
I think my New Year’s Resolutions™ will probably focus on getting my act together, but we’ll see how good I actually am at that.